I was reading an article on anger management only just. It defined anger as Anger is "an emotional state that varies in intensity from mild irritation to intense fury and rage" according to Charles Spielberger, PhD, a psychologist who specializes in the study of anger. Nice article I must say.
But after finishing it, I was pondering over plethora of thoughts that were crossing my mind at that time, varying from why I am reading such an article to why generally people get angry. Again the words from same article “Anger can be caused by both external and internal events. You could be angry at a specific person (Such as a coworker or supervisor) or event (a traffic jam, a canceled flight), or your anger could be caused by worrying or brooding about your personal problems. Memories of traumatic or enraging events can also trigger angry feelings.” I am sorry Dr, I am a naïve and not an connoisseur like you, hence if I put same in my simple words it will be ‘non-fulfillment of expectation leads to frustration and that frustration over the period of time is what comes out as anger’
So here I come again, at one of my favorite topic to talk about, expectations. Expectations comes from your own actions, it’s basically law of action reaction that we all studied (not me actually, I hated physics then and now I almost dread it :( ) in physics in high schools. Your mind is programmed to expect some reaction after every action you have taken. Reaction can be from a person, from event, from environment and all. Now, it’s a human brain and is capable of flying to the unseen heights. So, for every action, it has already chosen a suitable reaction. Of course, that choice is not the random one or the most favorable one, but basically involves complex dynamic of relationships, circumstances, promises, and what not. Now, when the reaction comes from the second party and it doesn’t matches to what you expected, it hurts. It hurts, not because reaction is different, but also because that means dynamics, complex dynamics involved behind the expectation, proved to be wrong some where.
So, what do you say, next time when you are angry, rather then out bursting in rage (my favorite way though :p ) sit and analyze the dynamics and see where it went wrong. HA. After writing this article, at least I am feeling much better. No more angry at all. :lol:
Cheers and remember, (one of my all time favorite quotation) “Silence is the hardest argument to refute.” And please, also do remember to give and expect a lot in the relationship because that is what makes the relationship stronger. Just because some of the relationships didn’t deserved so much giving, doesn’t mean the approach is wrong at the first place. Choose relationships judiously, not the expectations.